Just About To Give up In The Faith And The Search

Well as my title says "Im just about to give up in the Faith and the Search"

What Im seeing at this point in time are people out there that say that they are "Christians" but there actions are not of one. Also there are people out there that arent "Christians" and act better than the so called ones.

My mind is so very confused this last week. I was thinking that im wasting my time and energy trying to understand what a "Christian" is. If it was what I have been seeing and hearing from them I really want no part of it. It just seems that you can do what you want and say what you want and there should be no consequences because they are "Christians" they go to church they volunteer blah blah blah!!

This past week has been HORRIBLE for my wife. She has been deeply hurt by "so called Christians" and she is at her wits end. She wants to act on the actions of these people but knows that they would be wrong and she has not acted. Dont get me wrong these people have hurt me also but I just let it roll off me and I have learned not to react, I think not reacting can say more than reacting.

My wife has been very edgy to say the least. Shes acting like I used to do, snapping at everything and everyone for what ever reason. Keeping things boxed in. I think she doesnt have anyone to talk to or that would understand what she is feeling. I think that she does have friends to talk to she just needs to to can I vent to you!

I consider my wife a "Good Christian". She does allot for her Teen Mops and cares so much for those girls. They need so much help and they need that unconditional love. She loves all of them UNCONDITIONAL" no matter what their past or what they have done or doing now. She does it with not expecting anything in return but to help make a life change for the better. She also knows a bunch about the bible and can quote things out of it and apply the quotes to life and situations that are going on with people. She tries to live her life as a "Good Christian" and if she makes a mistake she knows it and asks to forgiveness.

So last Friday night I was at the point to just throw in the towel with the bible and JC and the whole christian thing.

We have friends that their "kid" plays bball at The Fox on Sat mornings. So I got up VERY early in the morning to go watch him play. Well I get there and guess what, he was done last week. Also every third week at the Fox they have Mens Breakfast. So I was there and I decided to go. I knew NO ONE so I sat down in the corner all by my self. After a bit the room started to fill and people had to sit by me. Let me tell you not one of the men even said Hi to me. So again I asked myself would a good "Christian" say hello and make someone feel welcome? I would think so. I know you say "You could of said something". Yes, I could of but Im scared of everyone there!!! Not physically but religiously. Im afraid they will ask me about religion things that I have No idea about. Or ask me what church I go to or when I accepted JC or ask me to pray with them, "I have NO idea how to pray"! But no one spoke to me anyways.

So I was sitting out at a table checking voice mail and after I was done someone came up to me and sat down. It was Pastor GUY the big cheese himself. I thought to myself on no what is he going to ask me. Would he say I wasnt welcome or quiz me about the bible. Ya know what, he just like anyone else. Just a person that likes sports, has kids (one thats a keeper), hurt his knee, just a real guy!!! We talked about some things and he knows that I havnt accepted JC yet. He told me that it may take weeks, month, even years until Im ready. He assured me that I was welcome anytime at Fox. That made me feel MUCH better and I wont think he will be looking at me thinking that I shouldnt be there.

Sunday my wife and I went to church and it was a BLAST!! P Guy makes it so fun and enjoyable. I could listen to him all the time and now knowing hes just a guy makes it more fun to listen to him. He goes through the same things you or I do.

He had us read a quote from the bible.

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Make sense to me!!
My daughter and I read the whole thing last night. It was nice.

"A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control"

That is SO totally me!!!!! A FOOL!!!! I always just speak whats on my mind and it just comes out as Im thinking it. I speak without thinking.

"Death and life are in the power of the tongue"

"You can speak truth and bring Death"

WOW that is so me!!!!!! Now ive never killed anyone by my words but I know I sure have hurt people. For that I am sorry and ask forgiveness from them.

I will take those quotes to heart and Think before I speak and also try to realize that even speaking the truth could hurt and when is the time to speak the truth and when is the time to just bite my tongue.


Im not going to give up yet!!!!

If I can relate myself to some of these quotes I must be learning something and apply to my life and family.