I just have a lot of questions that would be nice to get an answer for.
In the past few months I have really feel like Im been going through some changes (for the better I think). Im looking at things different, my actions are different and my thoughts are changing.
I know that by these things happening it is affecting people around me. Some people like it and I come to be live some not liking it to much.
You may ask what type of changes, here's a few that I know.
I go to Church when ever I can and LISTEN and take to heart what Im listening to.
I dont yell in my home anymore.
I try not to swear anymore and speak more positive.
I spend more quality time at home with my family.
I listen to my wife.
I have tried to forgive people that have hurt me.
I have tried and asked for forgiveness from people who I have hurt.
I think about the re-actions of my actions a bit more.
I try to help people that need it even if they dont ask for help.
I try to read the bible and understand it (much easier with the new one my wife got me).
I really try and want to believe everything in it.
Ive stopped spending so much time with people that are not good influences for me and or family.
I want to spend time with good influences "they are always busy"
I dont talk about people behind their backs or bad mouth people.
I could go on and on.
So why are "bad" things still going on and happening to me and my family.
Why do the people I ask forgiveness from cant?
Why do people continue to bad mouth me?
Why do people try to hurt me though hurting my wife?
Why cant people understand and be happy for me and my changes?
Why do some people think Im crazy for wanting to spend time with my family?
Why?
Dont get me wrong I have a LONG way to go with things. I need to work on lots of stuff.
By far Im not perfect and have I done bad things in my life. YES. Have I hurt people with words? Yes. Actions? Yes. Will it happen again? I hope not but it could and maybe with out me knowing Im doing it.
A lot of you know I coach youth soccer and I really want to start to use what Ive learned and what Im doing in my life with my teams. How do I do that? I dont want to look like a "bible thump er". Also Im in no position to preach things I have so much to still learn. Now a days religion is such a fine line.
But I feel that the lessons Im learning isnt just religion its a way of life and a way that I feel people should do and act out in their life , even if they have never gone to church. Do you understand?
So is there a way to intertwine those lessons without seeming like Im shoving church done their throats?
I really feel it can make my teams stronger as a whole at home and on the field.
How do I explain to friends that I dont want to lead my life the way they are without hurting them or them being made at me. I dont want to stop being friends , just not include myself so much with their activities?
I know my son is confused with me right now. He sees the changes and thinks they are weird or something. Do I sit down with him and try to explain why I am doing this or do I wait for him to come to me?
Will my new feelings make me a weaker person? Im the type of person that really has never cared about what people thought of me. I could care less. But now I catch myself feeling bad or kinda sad when I hear people dont like me or are talking bad about me. Is that weakness.
Will I ever feel strong enough to accept JC into my life and will he accept me?
When will I know that its the time?
If anyone can help with any of this PLEASE do so!!!!!!!!!
In the past few months I have really feel like Im been going through some changes (for the better I think). Im looking at things different, my actions are different and my thoughts are changing.
I know that by these things happening it is affecting people around me. Some people like it and I come to be live some not liking it to much.
You may ask what type of changes, here's a few that I know.
I go to Church when ever I can and LISTEN and take to heart what Im listening to.
I dont yell in my home anymore.
I try not to swear anymore and speak more positive.
I spend more quality time at home with my family.
I listen to my wife.
I have tried to forgive people that have hurt me.
I have tried and asked for forgiveness from people who I have hurt.
I think about the re-actions of my actions a bit more.
I try to help people that need it even if they dont ask for help.
I try to read the bible and understand it (much easier with the new one my wife got me).
I really try and want to believe everything in it.
Ive stopped spending so much time with people that are not good influences for me and or family.
I want to spend time with good influences "they are always busy"
I dont talk about people behind their backs or bad mouth people.
I could go on and on.
So why are "bad" things still going on and happening to me and my family.
Why do the people I ask forgiveness from cant?
Why do people continue to bad mouth me?
Why do people try to hurt me though hurting my wife?
Why cant people understand and be happy for me and my changes?
Why do some people think Im crazy for wanting to spend time with my family?
Why?
Dont get me wrong I have a LONG way to go with things. I need to work on lots of stuff.
By far Im not perfect and have I done bad things in my life. YES. Have I hurt people with words? Yes. Actions? Yes. Will it happen again? I hope not but it could and maybe with out me knowing Im doing it.
A lot of you know I coach youth soccer and I really want to start to use what Ive learned and what Im doing in my life with my teams. How do I do that? I dont want to look like a "bible thump er". Also Im in no position to preach things I have so much to still learn. Now a days religion is such a fine line.
But I feel that the lessons Im learning isnt just religion its a way of life and a way that I feel people should do and act out in their life , even if they have never gone to church. Do you understand?
So is there a way to intertwine those lessons without seeming like Im shoving church done their throats?
I really feel it can make my teams stronger as a whole at home and on the field.
How do I explain to friends that I dont want to lead my life the way they are without hurting them or them being made at me. I dont want to stop being friends , just not include myself so much with their activities?
I know my son is confused with me right now. He sees the changes and thinks they are weird or something. Do I sit down with him and try to explain why I am doing this or do I wait for him to come to me?
Will my new feelings make me a weaker person? Im the type of person that really has never cared about what people thought of me. I could care less. But now I catch myself feeling bad or kinda sad when I hear people dont like me or are talking bad about me. Is that weakness.
Will I ever feel strong enough to accept JC into my life and will he accept me?
When will I know that its the time?
If anyone can help with any of this PLEASE do so!!!!!!!!!
1 comment:
That is the hard part about living in a fallen world (one full of sin) Sometimes there is just no understanding of why things happen and how people can be so hurtful. God didn't intend the world to be like this. When He created Adam and Eve the plan was for them to live in harmony and a sinless world. When they sinned--that changed everything. The amazing part is that we have the free will to choose to be with him and THAT is an amazing gift!
As for the changes you are making as a man, father, husband...don't get discouraged! Be encouraged that you are heading in the right direction and acknowledging past mistakes--while working not to make them again. It's exciting when the transformation of someone's heart begins because it doesn't just affect you--it affects everyone around you.
Forgiveness is a hard thing to grasp because we have to remember it is not an emotion. It is something we need to do to recieve God's full forgiveness. If someone isn't willing to extend forgiveness to you it can hurt--but know that God knows your heart and ultimately it is His forgiveness that truly matters.
As for being a soccer coach---live out the new things you are learning and as you show patience, thoughtfulness, honesty...the boys (and parents) will see that. Don't stop being who you are--it's not about being fake or having a bible study before practise--but when you work on living out daily your faith others will see that. You can have that agressive, competitive nature...as long as it is tempered with kindness and true compassion for the boys.
As someone who struggled immensely when I came to know Jesus...I can relate with a lot of what you are saying. I felt like there was this battle going on inside of me and I wasn't sure who was going to win even though I knew that I wanted to be this better person I was becoming. If you've accepted Jesus as the son of God who died on a cross so that you could live eternally in Heaven---then you are a Christian. The rest falls into place as you learn more about what that means and how to apply it to your life.
Don't ever think that you will get it "perfect" and that since you aren't "perfect" yet, you must not really have Him in your heart. We are human, and doo doo brains, and mess up...but with Him we do so much better, we can handle heartache so much better, we can see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe I've confused you and if so--sorry :) Just keep asking questions, that's the best thing any of us can do!!
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