OK, about two or so weeks ago my wife asked me if I would go to a Couples night at Fox River. She knew I had soccer that night also and I bet she was expecting the same answer as always, "cant the u13 boys play gotta coach". But to her surprise I said "SURE" I'll ask my assistant to coach the last game".
Let me tell you I HAD A BLAST!!! I wish it was longer and we didn't have to go.
Our friends Debbie and Dan asked us to be their guests and sit with them. There was child care for the kids so no kids to watch also.
The menu was Tex Mex!! My favorite and Dan and I were the first in line! They were also serving Jones drinks! Let me tell you there were about 20 different flavors and Dan and I said we were going to drink one of each that night.
So we ate and ate and ate and drank Jones drinks until we were going to explode!!!! The food was great! We also met Debbie's brother and wife and some other people that go to Fox River. Very nice and fun people.
As the night went on they played some games and Dan and I even were a team making brownies blind folded. I was the hands and Dan was the eyes. We really won but didn't want to make the loving couple feel bad. "they cheated only cracked one egg!!!!"
But that game reminded me of something P Guy said last Sunday about service. "A hand without a body isn't as good as a hand working with a body. "I know that may not make sense to you but did to me" I needed Dans eyes to help me make the batter and Dan needed my hands to make the batter. Working together made it work. Just like serving together more can get done.
P Rob also gave a talk about How God wants Us to Treat People. TREAT YOUR NEIGHBORS AS YOU WOULD TREAT YOURSELF. He also talked about working at making your different types of relationships better. Not taking them for granted.
I have totally taken my relationship with my wife for granted for the past 13(?) years. I will now try and change that and let her know that I am thankful for what we have.
My relationship as a father also I feel could use some work also, I have been working on that for sometime now. I can honestly say I have not raised my voice to anyone in my house for about three weeks now. I have been trying to deal with things with a level head, and it has been working with my 8 year old, for the most part.
My relationship as a friend needs to change a bit also and I feel it has but in a way you may not think. I have seen that I give too much of myself to "friends" and not enough to my family so that I'm trying to change also.
So now we have this snow storm last night and I was out shoveling this morning all by myself. Just about all our neighbors have snow blowers and were out and they all saw me busting my back shoveling and not one offered to help by blowing my drive.
Now this bothered me, but not because no one helped me. But if there are people out there that cant shovel or really needed help would those people offer to help? When we did have a blower I went all over and blew driveways for everyone with out anyone asking, I just did it.
So after I got shoveled out I had to go to the shop for a bit and I went out looking for people that needed help shoveling snow. By that time everyone was shoveled out. But I had a shovel in my truck just in case. But I did help a cop catch a lost dog and found its owner.
So now we are getting this blizzard. More snow to shovel. Lets see if anyone helps tomorrow.
Also another thing that is bothering me is my wife says we may not be able to go to Church because of the snow. That's REALLY bugging me. Ive been looking so forward to going and if we don't go it will bug me all day.
For me to say that is weird because like I said in past posts I don't go to church. Now I'm feeling if I miss Church I'm letting someone down. Kinda like if I miss a soccer game or practice I'm letting the team down. And if you know me I DON'T let the teams down. But who am I worried to let down if I don't go to church, myself, family , P Guy?
Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms." - I Peter 4:10
So I have been asking myself what gift do I have to serve others. I truly feel I have no gift to serve. I really have been searching for my gift but when will I know I have found it?
So remember WORK ON ALL YOUR DIFFERENT TYPE OF RELATIONSHIPS!!!
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Where Have I Gone Wrong ???
Ok I "Was" going to post about Love today, but I really need to post about this subject and try to figure out "where I have gone wrong"
My post today is about being "Self Centered"
Lets go back a few hours. I was going to my daughters school, to pick her up. I pulled up and she was smiling and couldn't wait to tell me about her Valentine party today. We drove home and couldn't wait to go in the house and show my wife. I stayed outside to put window wash in the van and load up the van with boxes for a friend that is moving. I get done with that stuff and my wife comes out with a look on her face that she was just confused, sad, and speechless. I asked "whats wrong" she said "Our daughter is in her room because of her mouth and attitude".
Nothing New!!!
But when she explained "WHY" she was in her room , I was really speechless. The reason I was speechless was because of the "Self Centered" actions of her.
You see this last Sunday at church the "Kids Stuff" program was all about Serving Others and when you serve others you are serving JC. Like I said in recent posts I really learn things in this program also. The kids were told to try and do something for someone else this week for really no reason but to serve and help. The parent were also asked to try and do the same thing.
Ok, so I have tried to do this for all my family this week and I feel I have done a good job. My son was the last one I needed to do something for and I found out yesterday he had a flat tire, so what a great way to do something nice for him. So before I picked up my daughter today I snuck his tire out of the trunk to get it plugged. Come to find out he must of "hit" something "ask him he would have no idea" but now Im buying him a new tire. Serves me right for doing something nice "get it "SERVES" me. Ha Ha . He doesn't have any idea yet and most likley wont even realize the tire is missing. Ok back to subject at hand.
Come to find out a letter came for her today from a leader at Elm Brook church. In the letter it explained to her "what a great mother she has and what a great servant her mother is and she should be so proud of her mother". Well she wanted NOTHING to do with that letter. Why you ask? Because it wasn't about HER! She was mad and wanted her to stop reading because "she didn't care". There was also a chip for a ice cream at Culver's for her. She didn't know that cause she didn't take the time to get that far. My wife had to get going to Teen Mops to lead so I had to deal with this one.
So.
I let her sit up there and cry and yell for awhile. She finally came down and I asked her what the problem was. She responded that "she has NO problem". I continued to ask her "why" she wouldn't listen to mom read the letter to her. She responded that"the letter wasnt about her and had nothing to do about her". I asked her "what did you learn in Kids Stuff this week"? She said "I dont know".
I continued to tell her that I was very disappointed in her "not mad" but disappointed. I suggested that she sit down and listen to the letter and than go up stairs and write in her own words what it was about. After a bit more "discussion" she agreed. I read the letter she went up stairs and came down a bit later with this,
This letr is all abute of srving.
I am sory mom.
Love Gabby
Cod you frre give me.
Ok how cute is that and at least she was listening at church, even though her brain doesn't recognize when to use the lessons yet.
So I feel that Im doing something wrong for her to act so self centred a lot of the time. She sees all the time my wife serves at teen mops and I try to help when needed and do other things. But I feel the most important part a serving is when no one else knows and you dont get any recognition for it. But in todays time most people dont serve "Unless they get recognized about it" its about them and what they do and not for who they do it for.
But, I feel in this case with trying to teach my daughter about serving we "need to let her know when we are serving and why". Is that the right thing or not? I just feel she really needs to start putting others first instead of herself for a change.
"We have met the enemy, and he is us." The whole struggle of life is to grow past being a self-centered self-serving isolated individual. We are born thinking we are the center of life, and hopefully we grow past that perception. Those that stay self-centered are the evil in our world. The part of me that is self-centered is evil, too. The phrase "put Jesus on the throne of your life" refers to putting an end to doing what you want to do (because you are on the throne of your life) and doing what Jesus wants you to do, because you now serve Him.
Thats what we all need to teach our children and our family. I know I still need to work on this also.
My post today is about being "Self Centered"
Lets go back a few hours. I was going to my daughters school, to pick her up. I pulled up and she was smiling and couldn't wait to tell me about her Valentine party today. We drove home and couldn't wait to go in the house and show my wife. I stayed outside to put window wash in the van and load up the van with boxes for a friend that is moving. I get done with that stuff and my wife comes out with a look on her face that she was just confused, sad, and speechless. I asked "whats wrong" she said "Our daughter is in her room because of her mouth and attitude".
Nothing New!!!
But when she explained "WHY" she was in her room , I was really speechless. The reason I was speechless was because of the "Self Centered" actions of her.
You see this last Sunday at church the "Kids Stuff" program was all about Serving Others and when you serve others you are serving JC. Like I said in recent posts I really learn things in this program also. The kids were told to try and do something for someone else this week for really no reason but to serve and help. The parent were also asked to try and do the same thing.
Ok, so I have tried to do this for all my family this week and I feel I have done a good job. My son was the last one I needed to do something for and I found out yesterday he had a flat tire, so what a great way to do something nice for him. So before I picked up my daughter today I snuck his tire out of the trunk to get it plugged. Come to find out he must of "hit" something "ask him he would have no idea" but now Im buying him a new tire. Serves me right for doing something nice "get it "SERVES" me. Ha Ha . He doesn't have any idea yet and most likley wont even realize the tire is missing. Ok back to subject at hand.
Come to find out a letter came for her today from a leader at Elm Brook church. In the letter it explained to her "what a great mother she has and what a great servant her mother is and she should be so proud of her mother". Well she wanted NOTHING to do with that letter. Why you ask? Because it wasn't about HER! She was mad and wanted her to stop reading because "she didn't care". There was also a chip for a ice cream at Culver's for her. She didn't know that cause she didn't take the time to get that far. My wife had to get going to Teen Mops to lead so I had to deal with this one.
So.
I let her sit up there and cry and yell for awhile. She finally came down and I asked her what the problem was. She responded that "she has NO problem". I continued to ask her "why" she wouldn't listen to mom read the letter to her. She responded that"the letter wasnt about her and had nothing to do about her". I asked her "what did you learn in Kids Stuff this week"? She said "I dont know".
I continued to tell her that I was very disappointed in her "not mad" but disappointed. I suggested that she sit down and listen to the letter and than go up stairs and write in her own words what it was about. After a bit more "discussion" she agreed. I read the letter she went up stairs and came down a bit later with this,
This letr is all abute of srving.
I am sory mom.
Love Gabby
Cod you frre give me.
Ok how cute is that and at least she was listening at church, even though her brain doesn't recognize when to use the lessons yet.
So I feel that Im doing something wrong for her to act so self centred a lot of the time. She sees all the time my wife serves at teen mops and I try to help when needed and do other things. But I feel the most important part a serving is when no one else knows and you dont get any recognition for it. But in todays time most people dont serve "Unless they get recognized about it" its about them and what they do and not for who they do it for.
But, I feel in this case with trying to teach my daughter about serving we "need to let her know when we are serving and why". Is that the right thing or not? I just feel she really needs to start putting others first instead of herself for a change.
"We have met the enemy, and he is us." The whole struggle of life is to grow past being a self-centered self-serving isolated individual. We are born thinking we are the center of life, and hopefully we grow past that perception. Those that stay self-centered are the evil in our world. The part of me that is self-centered is evil, too. The phrase "put Jesus on the throne of your life" refers to putting an end to doing what you want to do (because you are on the throne of your life) and doing what Jesus wants you to do, because you now serve Him.
Thats what we all need to teach our children and our family. I know I still need to work on this also.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
My Comparison To True Friendship
Ok, my last post was really about forgiveness, but it also was about "Friendships".
I guess everyone looks at friendships in many different ways. What friendships mean to each other and what type of different friendships we need or want in our lives.
I know that I take "TRUE FRIENDSHIP" very seriously. A true friend will stand by you no matter what, no matter what the reason.
A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his hand round your shoulder - watch out!"
So I was at a Soccer game tonight. It was an game against the Wave and The Mexican All Star Team. (Players that are huge in Mexico and in any Hispanic communities).
I would have to say it was about 85% Hispanic fans there. The love and loyalty they showed for these players was amazing. You never see that at a plain old wave game. The cheering and singing the fans did I could not believe.
These fans treated the players like loyal "true" friends. Even when the player made a bad foul "purposely" the fans supported their player. Like a true friend would support and be there for a friend that needs support. Even if the friend knows the "foul" was wrong, and maybe explain why they think its wrong, but will still try and support their friend and help them. They dont Judge!
In the end the wave beat them very bad. But the fans stayed and cheered and still love their team no matter what the out come was. They stuck by the team and gave love and support.
The LORD Jesus Christ gave us the definition of a true friend in John. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you" (John 15:13-15).
How would you interpret that? Other than giving your life.
Some one has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that they will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.
That is what I believe. I also "think it means "you cant be true friends with every person you know. That you need to have different types of friendships and if you have only one or two "true friends" you are blessed. Because no one can have everyone one be a true friend. And you cant be true to everyone also. Also you dont have many "TRUE" friends in a life time.
Thats just my thoughts are they right , maybe or maybe not.
I guess everyone looks at friendships in many different ways. What friendships mean to each other and what type of different friendships we need or want in our lives.
I know that I take "TRUE FRIENDSHIP" very seriously. A true friend will stand by you no matter what, no matter what the reason.
A friend means well, even when he hurts you. But when an enemy puts his hand round your shoulder - watch out!"
So I was at a Soccer game tonight. It was an game against the Wave and The Mexican All Star Team. (Players that are huge in Mexico and in any Hispanic communities).
I would have to say it was about 85% Hispanic fans there. The love and loyalty they showed for these players was amazing. You never see that at a plain old wave game. The cheering and singing the fans did I could not believe.
These fans treated the players like loyal "true" friends. Even when the player made a bad foul "purposely" the fans supported their player. Like a true friend would support and be there for a friend that needs support. Even if the friend knows the "foul" was wrong, and maybe explain why they think its wrong, but will still try and support their friend and help them. They dont Judge!
In the end the wave beat them very bad. But the fans stayed and cheered and still love their team no matter what the out come was. They stuck by the team and gave love and support.
The LORD Jesus Christ gave us the definition of a true friend in John. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you" (John 15:13-15).
How would you interpret that? Other than giving your life.
Some one has said that if you can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand, you are blessed. A friend is one whom you can be yourself with and never fear that they will judge you. A friend is someone that you can confide in with complete trust. A friend is someone you respect and that respects you, not based upon worthiness but based upon a likeness of mind.
That is what I believe. I also "think it means "you cant be true friends with every person you know. That you need to have different types of friendships and if you have only one or two "true friends" you are blessed. Because no one can have everyone one be a true friend. And you cant be true to everyone also. Also you dont have many "TRUE" friends in a life time.
Thats just my thoughts are they right , maybe or maybe not.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Should We Ever Grow Up?
Well that is the question that Im asking myself today
"Should we ever grow up"
What do I mean by that you might be asking?
Over the past few weeks there has been some "stuff "that has happened between people I know and if you really think about it , it is just like seventh grade stuff. This person is talking to this person so that person is mad at that person so another person is afraid to talk to that person because the other person may get mad at them. Got that all?
Now believe me the one person has their reasons why they are upset (mad is a bad word, I feel upset is better). I 100% see their reasoning for being upset and hurt.
My problem is I feel I cant comfort this person with the right words,even though I understand what they are feeling and going through. I think to myself would I feel this way if this happened to me. Yes I would to a point, but would I let it go to the point that they are letting it go. I cant honestly say yes or no until I would be put in that situation.
The problem that Im having with this is, The one person that has been hurt has told this other person all the reasons that they are hurt and told them how bad they hurt them. Also explained that they were not mad but really hurt and that they thought the world of their friendship. After being told these things the person really hasnt had any response or hasnt attempted to even try to make things some what right. They just think that the person is wrong for being hurt by their actions and it seems that there may not be a way to make things up.
I know it sound so seventh grade but remember back than when that childish stuff like this happened back then how everyone "took sides" for awhile and then in a week or so everyone just forgot about it and all was back to normal.
Why doesn't that happen when we are grown. Why cant we just forgive and move on and try again? I truly believe everyone deserves a second (or maybe third chance). But as adults we just dont do that anymore or we dont let ourselves do it.
Believe me Im in a mess also with a person I was close to and I really hurt them in some ways.
I accepted it and have made EVERY attempt to make it right and this person just wont let me back in and I cant understand. Im truly sorry for what I did, but they wont give me forgiveness.
How can children just forgive so easy and move on like things never have happened but us as adults cant, wont or dont?
Should we be the ones teaching our children about forgiveness but it seems like that we can learn a lot about life from children.
I have learned lately in church that JC will forgive us for just about everything and anything. Im sure there is something in the bible about this (anyone knows please share). So if he can forgive everyone why is it so hard for other people to forgive and see hurt and be sorry for their actions?
Maybe we should all try and keep some childness in ourselves.
"Should we ever grow up"
What do I mean by that you might be asking?
Over the past few weeks there has been some "stuff "that has happened between people I know and if you really think about it , it is just like seventh grade stuff. This person is talking to this person so that person is mad at that person so another person is afraid to talk to that person because the other person may get mad at them. Got that all?
Now believe me the one person has their reasons why they are upset (mad is a bad word, I feel upset is better). I 100% see their reasoning for being upset and hurt.
My problem is I feel I cant comfort this person with the right words,even though I understand what they are feeling and going through. I think to myself would I feel this way if this happened to me. Yes I would to a point, but would I let it go to the point that they are letting it go. I cant honestly say yes or no until I would be put in that situation.
The problem that Im having with this is, The one person that has been hurt has told this other person all the reasons that they are hurt and told them how bad they hurt them. Also explained that they were not mad but really hurt and that they thought the world of their friendship. After being told these things the person really hasnt had any response or hasnt attempted to even try to make things some what right. They just think that the person is wrong for being hurt by their actions and it seems that there may not be a way to make things up.
I know it sound so seventh grade but remember back than when that childish stuff like this happened back then how everyone "took sides" for awhile and then in a week or so everyone just forgot about it and all was back to normal.
Why doesn't that happen when we are grown. Why cant we just forgive and move on and try again? I truly believe everyone deserves a second (or maybe third chance). But as adults we just dont do that anymore or we dont let ourselves do it.
Believe me Im in a mess also with a person I was close to and I really hurt them in some ways.
I accepted it and have made EVERY attempt to make it right and this person just wont let me back in and I cant understand. Im truly sorry for what I did, but they wont give me forgiveness.
How can children just forgive so easy and move on like things never have happened but us as adults cant, wont or dont?
Should we be the ones teaching our children about forgiveness but it seems like that we can learn a lot about life from children.
I have learned lately in church that JC will forgive us for just about everything and anything. Im sure there is something in the bible about this (anyone knows please share). So if he can forgive everyone why is it so hard for other people to forgive and see hurt and be sorry for their actions?
Maybe we should all try and keep some childness in ourselves.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Does This Make Sense?
Ok, this is my first post on this page.
I really feel my life is so going in so many directions at this point in time. I really want to be shown the direction to go. But from who.
I cant trust myself, it seems every time I think myself and family are going in the right direction, something happens to show that its the wrong direction. I feel that I have hurt my family ( really my wife ) by leading her into friendships that have hurt her so bad. Its to the point that she will not let people into her life. People that may be true friends to her, people that want to be her friend because of her not because of me and what I do. Im afraid shes may be missing out on true friendship. Thats my fault.
She has No relationship with her family (except mom and dad) because of me. They all hate me, they have from when we first met. I cant explain why, its just me.
My daughter cant understand why she has friends she plays with all the time and then all of a sudden they are gone and she cant play anymore. Its my fault.
To make anyone reading this understand what Im talking about, I coach a sport. Avery high level sport and I have the knack of creating very good teams and players. Which in turn draws people that want their children on my teams and also people want to learn from me and help me. I love to teach people how to coach like me, but than there becomes that relationship between me and them. A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS ALWAYS TURNED INTO MORE THAN COACHING. It turns into a friendship between me and him, I always want my family to become involved and I want my wife to become friends with the family. So far it always ends uo hurting her because of issues with the sport.
I always explain that there is a line between me as a coach and me as your friend. I TRULY belive this and go by this. I separate the two, Im the coach at practice and games but after that Im a friend. I guess Im naive {sp} about this. I have learned that no matter what parents cant split the two. So are all parents of children only out for the best of thier kids no matter who they hurt. I hope not, time will tell. I could go on and give examples, in the future I will.
So we started to to go to a new church (should I say my wife has, as for me this is my first one really). I never grew up with church, I dont think I ever went as a kid with my family. I was baptised as Lutheran (couldnt even tell you what that means). So I never had anything or one to get hope from or look to.
So now we go to this new church, my wife wanted me to go with her one time to see if I like it and because some friends she serves with go there. Well let me tell you, the place is amazing. The programs they have for kids is great (I think). The Guy doing the talking (the paster) is great. (I know). He has this way of explaining things in "now terms" he will read stuff from the bible which makes no sense to me but when he explains it im like "OH thats what that meant".
Like I said before I grew up without ANY religion in my life never even touched a bible before four weeks ago. You know what "That book scares me" not in a run and hide way, but in a what if I had it growing up? Would I of turned out a better person. Would the horrible things that have happened to me have happened? Would my parents still be alive? I have so many "what ifs".
Back to the church and Guy, When he speaks Im just drawn to what he is saying and the story he is telling about some part of the bible just comes to life in my head and I can relate it to "NOW" times and problems we may be having.
But do I deserve to be there , do I belong there. I look around when the songs are sang and I see people singing, waving thier hands, jumping feeling the words. All I hear is the music and the words being sung, thats all they are to me are words and music, what should those things mean to me or do to me? I dont sing ,I dont bounce I just stand there and hear music and feel nothing.
Do I belong surrounded by people that have made the choice to accept JC into thier life and serve him.
Would JC accept me? Im not perfect, Ive done some pretty bad things in my life "knowing that they will hurt" can he forgive these thing. I dont think I could. I cant promise that I wouldnt hurt again.
I feel that Im using this church and its people and members. Im enjoying my time there learning life lessons from P.Guy but is it fair to them my wife and myself?
The church has this great program for kids. Its amazing! The things they try to teach the kids about how to live your life to its best. I have learned from this program too. I hope my children will learn from it.
We have a baby that we want to "dedicate" in this church. That means that we agree to raise him with JC in his life and in our house. "How can I make this promise if I dont know the first thing about JC, the bible, church and being a good christian" Will JC not accept him if his father hasnt accepted JC into his life? I dont know, who does?
Today the topic was about "Serving Others" and washing feet. I always heard about groups and people "washing feet" I always thought YUCK, how sick, why would these people do this, what crazy religion is this? I find out today that if you had your feet wash by JC it was the greatest honor you could of ever got. That was his way of showing us to "do as he does" and serve him and others. Feet washing was done by the lowest people back in time, "lowest people seen in that time" and JC showed that any person can do anything for anyone for no reason, he even washed the feet of a friend "he knew" was going to betray him.
Guy also used an OREO cookie to explain the importance of what you do with you life in between being born and passing away. "I Think Thats What He Was Getting Across To Me" One cookie is me being born and the other is my passing, but the "STUFF" in the middle is whats the most important, but people just remember the cookies. I know makes no sense but to me it does "kinda".
I look into the bible and read some things and "Im totally lost" I cant make anything of it. I need a bible that explains things to me in "NOW" terms. Or I need P Guy to read it to me.
My wife was asked to share some thing she was thankful for this past year and I only thought she would say the birth of our new son. She said she is thankful for finding this church, she feels it has brought us closer together as a family and she sees it in the home also by the things Im doing and so. I cant see any difference in myself but she does, why cant I see changes in myself? What am I doing different? Am I trying to raise my children in a JC home and dont even know it?
I could go on and on tonight my mind is all over the place about this stuff.
Ill continue later.
I really feel my life is so going in so many directions at this point in time. I really want to be shown the direction to go. But from who.
I cant trust myself, it seems every time I think myself and family are going in the right direction, something happens to show that its the wrong direction. I feel that I have hurt my family ( really my wife ) by leading her into friendships that have hurt her so bad. Its to the point that she will not let people into her life. People that may be true friends to her, people that want to be her friend because of her not because of me and what I do. Im afraid shes may be missing out on true friendship. Thats my fault.
She has No relationship with her family (except mom and dad) because of me. They all hate me, they have from when we first met. I cant explain why, its just me.
My daughter cant understand why she has friends she plays with all the time and then all of a sudden they are gone and she cant play anymore. Its my fault.
To make anyone reading this understand what Im talking about, I coach a sport. Avery high level sport and I have the knack of creating very good teams and players. Which in turn draws people that want their children on my teams and also people want to learn from me and help me. I love to teach people how to coach like me, but than there becomes that relationship between me and them. A RELATIONSHIP THAT HAS ALWAYS TURNED INTO MORE THAN COACHING. It turns into a friendship between me and him, I always want my family to become involved and I want my wife to become friends with the family. So far it always ends uo hurting her because of issues with the sport.
I always explain that there is a line between me as a coach and me as your friend. I TRULY belive this and go by this. I separate the two, Im the coach at practice and games but after that Im a friend. I guess Im naive {sp} about this. I have learned that no matter what parents cant split the two. So are all parents of children only out for the best of thier kids no matter who they hurt. I hope not, time will tell. I could go on and give examples, in the future I will.
So we started to to go to a new church (should I say my wife has, as for me this is my first one really). I never grew up with church, I dont think I ever went as a kid with my family. I was baptised as Lutheran (couldnt even tell you what that means). So I never had anything or one to get hope from or look to.
So now we go to this new church, my wife wanted me to go with her one time to see if I like it and because some friends she serves with go there. Well let me tell you, the place is amazing. The programs they have for kids is great (I think). The Guy doing the talking (the paster) is great. (I know). He has this way of explaining things in "now terms" he will read stuff from the bible which makes no sense to me but when he explains it im like "OH thats what that meant".
Like I said before I grew up without ANY religion in my life never even touched a bible before four weeks ago. You know what "That book scares me" not in a run and hide way, but in a what if I had it growing up? Would I of turned out a better person. Would the horrible things that have happened to me have happened? Would my parents still be alive? I have so many "what ifs".
Back to the church and Guy, When he speaks Im just drawn to what he is saying and the story he is telling about some part of the bible just comes to life in my head and I can relate it to "NOW" times and problems we may be having.
But do I deserve to be there , do I belong there. I look around when the songs are sang and I see people singing, waving thier hands, jumping feeling the words. All I hear is the music and the words being sung, thats all they are to me are words and music, what should those things mean to me or do to me? I dont sing ,I dont bounce I just stand there and hear music and feel nothing.
Do I belong surrounded by people that have made the choice to accept JC into thier life and serve him.
Would JC accept me? Im not perfect, Ive done some pretty bad things in my life "knowing that they will hurt" can he forgive these thing. I dont think I could. I cant promise that I wouldnt hurt again.
I feel that Im using this church and its people and members. Im enjoying my time there learning life lessons from P.Guy but is it fair to them my wife and myself?
The church has this great program for kids. Its amazing! The things they try to teach the kids about how to live your life to its best. I have learned from this program too. I hope my children will learn from it.
We have a baby that we want to "dedicate" in this church. That means that we agree to raise him with JC in his life and in our house. "How can I make this promise if I dont know the first thing about JC, the bible, church and being a good christian" Will JC not accept him if his father hasnt accepted JC into his life? I dont know, who does?
Today the topic was about "Serving Others" and washing feet. I always heard about groups and people "washing feet" I always thought YUCK, how sick, why would these people do this, what crazy religion is this? I find out today that if you had your feet wash by JC it was the greatest honor you could of ever got. That was his way of showing us to "do as he does" and serve him and others. Feet washing was done by the lowest people back in time, "lowest people seen in that time" and JC showed that any person can do anything for anyone for no reason, he even washed the feet of a friend "he knew" was going to betray him.
Guy also used an OREO cookie to explain the importance of what you do with you life in between being born and passing away. "I Think Thats What He Was Getting Across To Me" One cookie is me being born and the other is my passing, but the "STUFF" in the middle is whats the most important, but people just remember the cookies. I know makes no sense but to me it does "kinda".
I look into the bible and read some things and "Im totally lost" I cant make anything of it. I need a bible that explains things to me in "NOW" terms. Or I need P Guy to read it to me.
My wife was asked to share some thing she was thankful for this past year and I only thought she would say the birth of our new son. She said she is thankful for finding this church, she feels it has brought us closer together as a family and she sees it in the home also by the things Im doing and so. I cant see any difference in myself but she does, why cant I see changes in myself? What am I doing different? Am I trying to raise my children in a JC home and dont even know it?
I could go on and on tonight my mind is all over the place about this stuff.
Ill continue later.
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